A securely attached young child has these three responses in moments of distress...
1. They outwardly expresses their distress
2. They actively seek proximity to their primary caregiver (can be through eye contact or crawling/running to them)
3. They calm quickly (within a few minutes) and maintain contact with their caregiver during that time until soothed
This same pattern can be seen in developmental variations throughout our lifespan but with the same three ideas...1. Express 2. Seek 3. Soothe.
(Teens may seek their friends or peers and adults seek their romantic partners or close friends but secure attachment always involves the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life).
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Discover how to differentiate between the instinct to recharge and the instinct to isolate in pain, and learn how to honor your introversion while also healing the wounds beneath an avoidant attachment response in this insightful video.
Learn the power of modeling self-compassion to your kids, as it inspires authenticity and problem-solving, and helps them develop their own self-treatment based on how they see you treat yourself.
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Discover how to avoid power struggles and teach your toddler to attune to their bodies by using a natural consequence when they won't put on their coat on a cold day in this helpful video that emphasizes the importance of letting them feel the cold and learn from the experience, and seeking an evaluation with a psychologist if they struggle with interoception due to neurodivergent wiring such as autism or ADHD.
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