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The forgiveness process after someone has abused you is not about reconciling yourself back to them, or to a compassionate idea of them.
It's about untethering yourself from the abuse and it's impact on you and reconciling yourself back to yourself.
If you feel bitter and resentful it is likely because you haven't fully forgiven yourself for being powerless. Not because you haven't found deep compassion for your abuser.
Grieve, acknowledge, release and remember who you are instead of trying to understand the person who abused you. That's their job.
Self-hatred is a product of insecure attachment and other traumas, but the first step towards self-love is to grieve and open up to the pain present in your attachment relationships and to see yourself in a new light.
In this video, you'll learn how to treat emotional pain with the same level of compassion as physical pain, and why showing empathy towards someone's emotions is crucial for their well-being.
In this video, you'll learn why it's important to process and heal your childhood stories in order to raise children who are securely attached to you.