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Grief is disorienting for adults, and we have fully formed prefrontal lobes. For kids it is impossible to process directly.
Instead it comes out sideways and in the indescribable feelings of lostness and powerlessness.
Kids in grief and transition and change are often more whiney or tantrum prone or angry. They are feeling the grief but without the capacity to link it to the narrative.
When a kid is acting out more than normal, reach out instead of clamping down, you might be surprised how much sense their feelings make when put into context.
In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
Learn three simple techniques to help you reset and reconnect with your children when you reach your breaking point as a parent, including taking a time out, having a silly tantrum, and taking a silent hug reset.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.