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When we become truly close to people we also become deeply acquainted with all the things that make them human.
The initial idealism we feel wears off and we have to learn how to love in more complex ways. One of the skills all healthy relationships have is the ability to let go of the small things.
But sometimes the small things really bug us and feel big.
Then they turn into big things like harsh critical words or shaming comments or contempt.
Instead of letting the small stuff get big, practice using the F#ck it bucket.
When something bothers you, filter it thru the question "is this something that truly matters? Is this about normal human stuff? Or a bigger relational pattern I need to address?"
And if it's just the banal annoying things of being imperfect, throw it in the bucket and focus on gratitude for all the wonderful other things your person does to love you!
Learn how to strengthen your relationship and become more securely attached by reframing conflict as an opportunity to discover new things about yourself and your partner, and find out how naming your fights can bring levity and help you avoid repeating them in this insightful video.
Teaching healthy conflict resolution to our children means modeling it for them, which requires communicating and connecting through conflict without fighting dirty or being violent.
In this video, we explore why punishment may not be the best approach to parenting and how positive reinforcement can be a more effective and nurturing alternative