When we become truly close to people we also become deeply acquainted with all the things that make them human.
The initial idealism we feel wears off and we have to learn how to love in more complex ways. One of the skills all healthy relationships have is the ability to let go of the small things.
But sometimes the small things really bug us and feel big.
Then they turn into big things like harsh critical words or shaming comments or contempt.
Instead of letting the small stuff get big, practice using the F#ck it bucket.
When something bothers you, filter it thru the question "is this something that truly matters? Is this about normal human stuff? Or a bigger relational pattern I need to address?"
And if it's just the banal annoying things of being imperfect, throw it in the bucket and focus on gratitude for all the wonderful other things your person does to love you!
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In this video, you'll learn the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state of shame by acknowledging their feelings, buffering them with calmness and presence, and connecting with them in an authentic human way to help them feel worthy and not alone.
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In this video, you'll learn about the difference between intention and impact, and that while you can share how someone's actions or inactions impacted you, the authority over their intentions belongs to them, and if you don't trust their explanation, it may be time to move on or evaluate your past trauma.
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In this video, you'll learn that effectively reaching out to those we love when feeling disconnected requires us to take ownership of our own feelings, rather than assuming what they feel.
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