The heart of a person with an avoidant attachment style isn't "I don't want to be close"...it's "I don't want to burden you with my needs and emotions".
So if someone you love is avoidant, be faithful to show up in their small stuff and remind them how honored you feel to do so. They are so scared their needs will push you away so take time to show them that the opposite is actually true.
If you didn't have a secure attachment style in childhood, you're not alone. Here are three phases of healing you can work through to change your patterns of relating and build new, secure relationships.
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Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
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In this video, the presenter discusses two potential reasons for constantly feeling insecure in a romantic relationship and provides solutions for each, including moving on if the partner isn't right or putting in the work to internalize the love you have if you have an anxious preoccupied attachment style.
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