If you find yourself constantly insecure in your romantic relationship (or past relationships) always scanning your partner(s) to get reassurance that they still care about you and are committed to you, there are two most likely reasons ..
The first? The person you're with isn't right for you. They don't have the emotional care or attunement or predictability you need to feel securely connected. Solution? You'll likely need to move on.
The second? You have an anxious preoccupied attachment style.
You grew up with unpredictable caregivers so your nervous system is always waiting for the other show to drop.
You became a honey badger always on the look out for more honey to feel safe (despite actually having a storehouse of honey).
Solution? Put in the work to start to internalize the love you have...start to separate what you felt as a child from what you now know as an adult (you deserve predictable love and care!!)
Good luck out there Honey Badgers, you got this!
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In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
Learn how to break the cycle of generational trauma and cultivate a secure attachment relationship between you and your child by doing the healing work that you can, trusting the next generation to keep it going.
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Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
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