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One of the greatest challenges a couple goes thru in their attachment is the immense constant work that comes with having children.
I have been lucky enough to share a partnership where we both work some and both stay at home with the kids some. This has allowed us a deep understanding of what it feels like on each side.
But many of my clients have not had this privilege and have gotten stuck in some dangerous failures of understanding, especially around the idea that one partner "works" and the other "stays home".
Both people are working. Childcare is WORK.
Today I encourage everyone to reflect on the reality a partner laboring to care for children endures everyday, without being paid a single penny for their gargantuan efforts.
(Next message will be on behalf of the person who works outside of the home)
In this video, you'll learn the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state of shame by acknowledging their feelings, buffering them with calmness and presence, and connecting with them in an authentic human way to help them feel worthy and not alone.
In this video, you'll learn about the difference between intention and impact, and that while you can share how someone's actions or inactions impacted you, the authority over their intentions belongs to them, and if you don't trust their explanation, it may be time to move on or evaluate your past trauma.
In this video, you'll learn that effectively reaching out to those we love when feeling disconnected requires us to take ownership of our own feelings, rather than assuming what they feel.