One of the greatest challenges a couple goes thru in their attachment is the immense constant work that comes with having children.
I have been lucky enough to share a partnership where we both work some and both stay at home with the kids some. This has allowed us a deep understanding of what it feels like on each side.
But many of my clients have not had this privilege and have gotten stuck in some dangerous failures of understanding, especially around the idea that one partner "works" and the other "stays home".
Both people are working. Childcare is WORK.
Today I encourage everyone to reflect on the reality a partner laboring to care for children endures everyday, without being paid a single penny for their gargantuan efforts.
(Next message will be on behalf of the person who works outside of the home)
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In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
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In this video, you'll learn that if you struggle with big emotions and tend to withdraw, you may have grown up with an anxious-avoidant attachment style, but that this can be worked on by learning to tolerate your own feelings and be present when emotions arise, leading to beautiful connected moments.
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In this video, you'll learn about the difference between intention and impact, and that while you can share how someone's actions or inactions impacted you, the authority over their intentions belongs to them, and if you don't trust their explanation, it may be time to move on or evaluate your past trauma.
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