My sweet mama did something amazing. She realized from her own attachment traumas, she could break the cycle.
One of the ways she did that was by breaking the cycle of guilt and control.
When she told me "you don't owe me anything" she was releasing me from generations of abuse.
And do you know what happens when you love someone with open arms and open hands? They feel loved. And they openly return that love to you.
When she had a memory emergency last year, absolutely 0% of me felt burdened. I held her hand and gently cared for her as she lay confused and disoriented in the hospital.
The attachment system doesn't need guilt. In fact, guilt gets in the way of true unfettered gratitude and generosity that comes from secure attachment.
Learn why suggesting activities to a bored child may not be effective as it triggers a stress response in their brain, and instead, how to hold space for their emotional discomfort so they can reconnect with their executive functioning skills in this informative video.
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Discover why harsh punishments and power and control tactics can create compliance in children through fear and dissociative shutdown, and how these patterns can lead to adult relationships based on power and control or deep self-worth wounds in this eye-opening and insightful video that encourages compassionate limit setting without instilling fear.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
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