My sweet mama did something amazing. She realized from her own attachment traumas, she could break the cycle.
One of the ways she did that was by breaking the cycle of guilt and control.
When she told me "you don't owe me anything" she was releasing me from generations of abuse.
And do you know what happens when you love someone with open arms and open hands? They feel loved. And they openly return that love to you.
When she had a memory emergency last year, absolutely 0% of me felt burdened. I held her hand and gently cared for her as she lay confused and disoriented in the hospital.
The attachment system doesn't need guilt. In fact, guilt gets in the way of true unfettered gratitude and generosity that comes from secure attachment.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
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In this video, learn why it's important for parents who grew up with trauma or without secure attachment to be mindful of not overcorrecting their kids, and how to give themselves space to process their past pains so they can accurately meet their child's needs.
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