1.
When we see our children in emotional pain we want to help. And we often see the lesson that would have prevented the pain.
Teaching them these things is good.
But timing the teaching is key.
Only after they are past the emotional flooding will they be able to fully hear us and integrate that information.
Regulate your body and offer calming compassion and when you see their body take a shuddery release breath, give it a few more minutes....then talk about the idea or insight you think will help.
The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
Learn how to handle the endless "why" questions from your child by turning it into a time of imagination, allowing them to wonder and theorize about things, rather than just providing an answer, which can foster a sense of connection and curiosity.
The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.