1.
Learn about the importance of light up moments and why they work so well with kids.
I've been a family therapist for more than 15 years and have a good tip for all your parents.
I didn't learn it in grad school, and I didn't learn it in the clinic. I learned it from a dog.
You know, that thing they do when you come home, or when you walk into the room?
Do that same thing with your kids when they walk into the room.
Light Up.
When they see you light up, what happens inside of them is they feel delightful. And when we feel delightful, we feel worthy, and we feel confident, and we don't get stuck on as many of the parts of ourselves that are imperfect because we know we belong.
When they see us light up about being in their presence (not for their achievements or compliance or good behavior)...it gives their inside world a boost of confidence and it helps them sense the difference between safe people they belong with and the rejection or bullying that comes with toxic dynamics.
You have to do it when they're young because when they become teenagers, they turn into cats.
You can't be a dog anymore. Because you will scare the cat away.
I've been a family therapist for more than 15 years and have a good tip for all your parents.
I didn't learn it in grad school, and I didn't learn it in the clinic. I learned it from a dog.
You know, that thing they do when you come home, or when you walk into the room?
Do that same thing with your kids when they walk into the room.
Light Up.
When they see you light up, what happens inside of them is they feel delightful. And when we feel delightful, we feel worthy, and we feel confident, and we don't get stuck on as many of the parts of ourselves that are imperfect because we know we belong.
When they see us light up about being in their presence (not for their achievements or compliance or good behavior)...it gives their inside world a boost of confidence and it helps them sense the difference between safe people they belong with and the rejection or bullying that comes with toxic dynamics.
You have to do it when they're young because when they become teenagers, they turn into cats.
You can't be a dog anymore. Because you will scare the cat away.
Learn how to teach your kids the difference between insults and feedback, empowering them to take accountability for their actions and establish boundaries with bullies in this insightful video.
In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.