Learn about the importance of light up moments and why they work so well with kids.
I've been a family therapist for more than 15 years and have a good tip for all your parents.
I didn't learn it in grad school, and I didn't learn it in the clinic. I learned it from a dog.
You know, that thing they do when you come home, or when you walk into the room?
Do that same thing with your kids when they walk into the room.
Light Up.
When they see you light up, what happens inside of them is they feel delightful. And when we feel delightful, we feel worthy, and we feel confident, and we don't get stuck on as many of the parts of ourselves that are imperfect because we know we belong.
When they see us light up about being in their presence (not for their achievements or compliance or good behavior)...it gives their inside world a boost of confidence and it helps them sense the difference between safe people they belong with and the rejection or bullying that comes with toxic dynamics.
You have to do it when they're young because when they become teenagers, they turn into cats.
You can't be a dog anymore. Because you will scare the cat away.
I've been a family therapist for more than 15 years and have a good tip for all your parents.
I didn't learn it in grad school, and I didn't learn it in the clinic. I learned it from a dog.
You know, that thing they do when you come home, or when you walk into the room?
Do that same thing with your kids when they walk into the room.
Light Up.
When they see you light up, what happens inside of them is they feel delightful. And when we feel delightful, we feel worthy, and we feel confident, and we don't get stuck on as many of the parts of ourselves that are imperfect because we know we belong.
When they see us light up about being in their presence (not for their achievements or compliance or good behavior)...it gives their inside world a boost of confidence and it helps them sense the difference between safe people they belong with and the rejection or bullying that comes with toxic dynamics.
You have to do it when they're young because when they become teenagers, they turn into cats.
You can't be a dog anymore. Because you will scare the cat away.
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Learn the truth about attachment and how to move forward if you didn't have a secure attachment growing up.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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In this video, learn about 4 different parenting mindsets - power and control, behavioral, permissive, and attachment - to help you make choices based on your parenting goals when faced with tricky situations.
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