It is developmentally normal for small children to struggle with impulse control and to hit, pinch, push, grab etc.
But the experience of being hit, pinched, pushed, grab etc is painful at any stage of development.
When another child is doing these things to your child is can be incredibly triggering and hard to navigate (esp if the other parent is not intervening and is a friend or acquaintance).
Remember that these are moments to teach your children 2 things:
1. Body ownership and permission to set boundaries with people who hurt them
2. That you care about their pain and will calmly but firmly protect them from people that are using hurtful hands or words
If you didn't have a secure attachment style in childhood, you're not alone. Here are three phases of healing you can work through to change your patterns of relating and build new, secure relationships.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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In this video, learn how raising securely attached children can protect them in many ways, but also make them vulnerable to manipulation, and discover how to equip your kids with the knowledge of identifying abuse and healthy relationships.
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