The attachment research calls the instinct to push when you are wanting to be close "protest" behavior.
In couples counseling I often call it sabotage.
You are hurt because you feel distant, but instead of walking closer to your sweetheart and asking for connection (and receiving when they try), you throw rocks at them (in the form of criticism or bad energy etc) and bat away the opportunities to reconnect.
The most effective way to bring your partner close is to share your desire to be close.
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In this video, learn how healthy boundaries can keep your relationships authentic and secure, and how to effectively communicate your needs without feeling disconnected or distant from your loved ones.
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Discover how to differentiate between the instinct to recharge and the instinct to isolate in pain, and learn how to honor your introversion while also healing the wounds beneath an avoidant attachment response in this insightful video.
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In this informative and practical video, learn how emotional flooding can disorient and lead us to push away those we need, and how to use the Letting go/Staying close method to support loved ones during these difficult moments by releasing pressure and standing back while staying open and supportive.
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