The attachment research calls the instinct to push when you are wanting to be close "protest" behavior.
In couples counseling I often call it sabotage.
You are hurt because you feel distant, but instead of walking closer to your sweetheart and asking for connection (and receiving when they try), you throw rocks at them (in the form of criticism or bad energy etc) and bat away the opportunities to reconnect.
The most effective way to bring your partner close is to share your desire to be close.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn that having a secure attachment style means showing love and affection freely, seeking emotional support from attachment figures, and feeling soothed by empathetic responses.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, we'll explore some tips on how to have a difficult yet crucial conversation with someone who's struggling with drugs and alcohol, so you can help them thrive in life and relationships.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state of shame by acknowledging their feelings, buffering them with calmness and presence, and connecting with them in an authentic human way to help them feel worthy and not alone.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}