When we are unable to reach our children through gentle and respectful requests (aka we ask nicely 16 times for something and it isn't happening), there is a temptation to pivot to harshness, threats, and punishments to motivate them.
Unfortunately, when we go that route, our behavior adds tension and fear into the learning process and limits the amount of our children's brains that are online.
Instead of turning the volume up on fear and punishment, turn the volume up on playfulness.
When we are playful we engage our child's whole brain. It makes learning easier and deeper. Plus you have more fun too.
(Costumes not required)
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Discover how to avoid power struggles and teach your toddler to attune to their bodies by using a natural consequence when they won't put on their coat on a cold day in this helpful video that emphasizes the importance of letting them feel the cold and learn from the experience, and seeking an evaluation with a psychologist if they struggle with interoception due to neurodivergent wiring such as autism or ADHD.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.
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