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We are not in control of the relationships between our children and their siblings, but we are in control of how we communicate about those relationships and whether or not our stuff gets in the way of them. Like so many other things in parenting the key to helping our children build healthy dynamics with each other is in our ability to be present, calm, accepting of all the emotions and to use connection tools to model and teach socially effective ways of relating. Not all siblings are destined to be bff's, BUT if we offer a secure environment, no siblings have to be at great odds with one another. Yes, there will be seasons of discord and moments of conflict, but if we can contain our own anxiety about those times, it leaves our kids free to figure out their relationships without pressure or burden from us.
In this video, you'll learn how our relationship with our children can reveal areas in our lives that need care, including past traumas and present issues, and how taking a pause to reflect on these triggers can lead to personal growth and healing.
The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
Teaching healthy conflict resolution to our children means modeling it for them, which requires communicating and connecting through conflict without fighting dirty or being violent.