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We all want our kids to grow into resilient adults...here are the three things they need from you to have a good chance at that outcome.
1) Normalizing and verbalizing their emotional responses.
2) Actively communicating your support as a secure base for their tender needs and distress feelings.
3) Teaching them the socially acceptable ways of coping and interacting with others.
In this video, Dr. Ramani explains how being devalued as a child can lead to over-idealizing your own children, ultimately making them ill-equipped to handle life's challenges, and suggests that adoring and guiding them with boundaries and limits is a healthier approach.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.