Natural consequences are great teachers. IF our children have learned to be cued into their bodies signals. (A challenge that takes more time and effort for neurodivergent children with ADHD and Autism in particular).
The skill of interoception is an attachment related skill.
Children learn to make good choices for their bodies by learning to listen to the signals inside of their bodies.
When we punish a child or create more consequences to get them to do something we know is good for them, we are placing their attention away from their bodies, thus delaying the skill and not encouraging it.
Yes, this means being patient and attentive to our children in a world that is very task focused. But is there any other task more important than the task of teaching our children how to listen to and trust their bodies?
Guide and teach instead of punishing and preaching. Your child will feel safe with you and you'll feel less stressed too.
(Also p.s. I don't do this 100 percent of the time. Sometimes I am cranky and grouchy and tired. But I do try to do this most of the time and when I do, it's far more effective)
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In this video, you'll learn how our relationship with our children can reveal areas in our lives that need care, including past traumas and present issues, and how taking a pause to reflect on these triggers can lead to personal growth and healing.
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In this video, you'll learn that being an imperfect parent is not inadequate, and that the ability to repair conflicts and model compassion to your kids and yourself is what truly makes a great parent, so don't beat yourself up for being human.
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Discover why responding attentively to your young children won't make them weak, self-centered and dependent adults, as research shows that emotional attunement and responsiveness from caregivers helps children feel safe and develop better awareness and focus in relationships, whereas ignoring their emotional needs leads to heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships - check out the recommended studies to learn more and trust your instincts for care.
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