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For all of the fathers out there doing the work to connect with your children, keep going.
In a world that is filled with wounded men who never had the chance to experience empathy and connection in their own childhoods, your children desperately need you to show them what a healthy, connected, caring male looks like.
I know this is not an easy ask. That the world around you (and probably your own growing up experiences) will mock you in your attempts to be tender and kind instead of seeking control and dominance.
But you won't regret it. Your children will trust you. And run into your arms and rely on you as a safe haven and a secure base. There is truly no triumph in life greater than the success of being a secure attachment figure for your children.
Connection is what creates resilience for both your children, and for you.
In this video, the speaker discusses how our culture tends to attribute behaviors and motivations to people's private parts, and proposes the term "Overgenitalization" to help us understand that violence and nurture do not come from a person's reproductive body parts, but rather from the environments and social experiences they are raised in.
The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
This video offers guidance on how parents can help their kids learn about conflict resolution through setting boundaries and offering compassion towards both parties, emphasizing the importance of safety and boundaries, effective communication, and moving to repair in conflict situations.