Harsh punishment and power and control tactics like yelling, punishing, and shaming can create behavioral changes in children. They become compliant But WHY?
Because they are scared of the punisher.
They "work" because they trigger a dissociative shutdown and make a child unsafe enough to feel powerless and therefore to freeze or cease actions.
And what else do harsh punishments do to children?
They teach children that relationships are about power and control and to relate thru abusive patterns. Which leads to adults who are either 1. Repeating the cycle of power and control or 2. Have deep self worth wounds...both requiring lots of time and work to heal and change.
Instead of trying to control your child's behavior, work on keeping your own need for control in check. Be compassionate with them and with you.
Yes, set limits, but set them lovingly and without creating fear for them.
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Learn three simple techniques to help you reset and reconnect with your children when you reach your breaking point as a parent, including taking a time out, having a silly tantrum, and taking a silent hug reset.
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In this video, learn about the importance of timing when teaching children how to regulate their emotions, and why it's essential to wait until they have calmed down before offering guidance.
Struggling with your toddler's hitting behavior? This video offers practical tips and insights for parents, covering the underlying reasons for hitting, effective coping strategies, and considerations for each child's unique wiring and environment.
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