Harsh punishment and power and control tactics like yelling, punishing, and shaming can create behavioral changes in children. They become compliant But WHY?
Because they are scared of the punisher.
They "work" because they trigger a dissociative shutdown and make a child unsafe enough to feel powerless and therefore to freeze or cease actions.
And what else do harsh punishments do to children?
They teach children that relationships are about power and control and to relate thru abusive patterns. Which leads to adults who are either 1. Repeating the cycle of power and control or 2. Have deep self worth wounds...both requiring lots of time and work to heal and change.
Instead of trying to control your child's behavior, work on keeping your own need for control in check. Be compassionate with them and with you.
Yes, set limits, but set them lovingly and without creating fear for them.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn how to effectively manage anxiety by calming your body and watching your thoughts follow suit - discover why it's easier to work from the bottom up rather than the top down with this insightful video.
.webp){kind=avatar}
The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn why children can become emotionally overwhelmed during Halloween and how to prepare for it by setting concrete expectations and anticipating potential meltdowns, so you can provide empathy and support to your child without feeling guilty or disappointed.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}