1.
Nope. Toughing up your children to learn to deal with a rough world doesn't make them more resilient.
It just makes you their first bully. And strips them of a sense of secure belonging with you.
Human beings have survived and thrived as long as we have because we have an attachment instinct. When we form close supportive bonds with our family it helps us identify abuse in others and pick better friends and partners.
Treat your children with such profound respect and connection that they find unkind, dismissive, and cruel treatment jarring and instinctively protect themselves from it.
Learn how to set compassionate limits with your child in a way that benefits their brain development and reduces reactive responses to emotions, with the timing varying depending on factors such as age, hunger, and consistency.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.
Learn how to break the cycle of generational trauma and cultivate a secure attachment relationship between you and your child by doing the healing work that you can, trusting the next generation to keep it going.