The way we make meaning about our children's behavior is a huge component of whether or not they will have a secure attachment experience with us.
When we help our children see the needs beneath their behavior we give them the opportunity to learn how to articulate their needs instead of acting them out.
It is not enabling a child to help them see the dignified need beneath a problematic behavior. It is empowering them. This is the crux of a secure parent child dynamic.
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Parenting can be tough, but taking a minute to reflect on your long-term goals and imagining your kids as adults can help guide your decisions and strengthen your relationship with them - remember to be kind to yourself and hold onto the vision.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
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In this video, you'll learn the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state of shame by acknowledging their feelings, buffering them with calmness and presence, and connecting with them in an authentic human way to help them feel worthy and not alone.
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