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Intention and impact are two different things.
You can tell someone about how their actions or inactions impacted you, but the authority over what their intentions were belongs to them.
If you don't trust their explanation of their intentions, it might be time to move on to someone you do trust. Or evaluate when you learned to always be skeptical of people's intentions towards you and separate that trauma from the present security.
In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
In this video, you'll learn that if you struggle with big emotions and tend to withdraw, you may have grown up with an anxious-avoidant attachment style, but that this can be worked on by learning to tolerate your own feelings and be present when emotions arise, leading to beautiful connected moments.
In this video, you'll learn that because we identify with our attachment loves, we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves, and that being more gentle with ourselves can lead to more kindness and generosity towards the people who matter most.