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Reminder that if we want our kids to be secure, well-regulated and resilient, we aren't trying to teach them to need nothing from anyone (independence ), we are trying to teach them how to effectively live in community and how to have close attachment relationships (interdependence).
Human beings thrive when we are in positive supportive, mutual relationships.
If your kids need your help (especially in big emotional moments), you are not creating dependence when you support them, you are creating trust.
Parenting can be tough, but taking a minute to reflect on your long-term goals and imagining your kids as adults can help guide your decisions and strengthen your relationship with them - remember to be kind to yourself and hold onto the vision.
In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
In this video, you'll learn the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state of shame by acknowledging their feelings, buffering them with calmness and presence, and connecting with them in an authentic human way to help them feel worthy and not alone.