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If you are feeling anxious, try focusing on calming your body (deep breathing, hot beverage, warm blanket etc) and watch your thoughts calm. It's much easier to do than the other way around. Our brain works bottom to top, not top to bottom, which is why it is so hard to think your way out of what you feel.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
In this video, learn why it's important for parents who grew up with trauma or without secure attachment to be mindful of not overcorrecting their kids, and how to give themselves space to process their past pains so they can accurately meet their child's needs.