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If you are feeling anxious, try focusing on calming your body (deep breathing, hot beverage, warm blanket etc) and watch your thoughts calm. It's much easier to do than the other way around. Our brain works bottom to top, not top to bottom, which is why it is so hard to think your way out of what you feel.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
In this video, you'll learn about the three phases of healing - reflection, grieving, and growth - that those who did not inherit a secure attachment style can work through in order to learn and earn a secure attachment style.
In this video, you'll learn that being an imperfect parent is not inadequate, and that the ability to repair conflicts and model compassion to your kids and yourself is what truly makes a great parent, so don't beat yourself up for being human.