One of the most important ingredients for a secure attachment with our children is our capacity to attune to their inner world.
And one specific area they need us to attune to is whether or not the love we are giving them is coming thru the way we intend it to.
By occasionally (please not every minute of every day!!!) checking in with our kids about what they are needing to feel our love, we can get in sync with them so that the love we are putting out is getting all the way in.
This is especially important during developmental leaps. When our kids grow into new stages they can grow out of our old patterns of affection and need us to acclimate to their current preferences and needs.
When we show our kids we care more about our impact on them than defending our intentions we cultivate some incredible trust.
Affection Check In for the win!
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In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
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In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.
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In this video, you'll learn how our relationship with our children can reveal areas in our lives that need care, including past traumas and present issues, and how taking a pause to reflect on these triggers can lead to personal growth and healing.
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