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Idealization is not kind. It's grandiose pressure. The only reason someone wants to meld their life with you before getting the chance to get to know you is because they feel desperate.
That love bombing can feel really nice at first, but remember to teach your kids that it is a setup. All idealization leads eventually to devaluation, because your humanness will appear and shatter their idealization of you.
The work of secure attachment involves taking the time to BUILD trust and get to know each other...not jumping into a deep end without knowing what lies under it.
This video discusses the importance of self-love as a radical stance in a world that often encourages self-sacrifice, and emphasizes how loving yourself is a necessity for taking care of your body and self in a world that won't always do that for you.
Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
In this video, you'll learn about self-gaslighting, which is learned from attachment relationships where someone taught you to constantly question your body, reactions, and views on reality, and the importance of acknowledging the trauma and learning to trust your own needs.