Idealization is not kind. It's grandiose pressure. The only reason someone wants to meld their life with you before getting the chance to get to know you is because they feel desperate.
That love bombing can feel really nice at first, but remember to teach your kids that it is a setup. All idealization leads eventually to devaluation, because your humanness will appear and shatter their idealization of you.
The work of secure attachment involves taking the time to BUILD trust and get to know each other...not jumping into a deep end without knowing what lies under it.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
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In this video, you'll learn that hovering over our kids to protect them is not the best form of protection, as they need us to be connected with them so they can come to us as a refuge, and that the best protection we can offer them is connection.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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