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Idealization is not kind. It's grandiose pressure. The only reason someone wants to meld their life with you before getting the chance to get to know you is because they feel desperate.
That love bombing can feel really nice at first, but remember to teach your kids that it is a setup. All idealization leads eventually to devaluation, because your humanness will appear and shatter their idealization of you.
The work of secure attachment involves taking the time to BUILD trust and get to know each other...not jumping into a deep end without knowing what lies under it.
In this video, learn how raising securely attached children can protect them in many ways, but also make them vulnerable to manipulation, and discover how to equip your kids with the knowledge of identifying abuse and healthy relationships.
Self-hatred is a product of insecure attachment and other traumas, but the first step towards self-love is to grieve and open up to the pain present in your attachment relationships and to see yourself in a new light.
In this video, you'll learn about self-gaslighting, which is learned from attachment relationships where someone taught you to constantly question your body, reactions, and views on reality, and the importance of acknowledging the trauma and learning to trust your own needs.