One of the most prevalent fallacies in human development is the idea that if you respond attentively to your young children, it will form them into weak self-centered dependent adults.
The research indicates the exact opposite. When children experience emotional attunement and responsiveness from their caregivers it helps them feel safe, which in turn helps their brain develop more awareness and complex focus in relationships. When children's emotional needs are ignored, they develop heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships. (check out the strange situation studies, and Es Tronick's Still Face Experiment, and the Adult Attachment Interview, and all the longitudinal studies done with all three tools).
You aren't spoiling your child when you comfort them, hold them, respond to them, and treat them with the same respect you would want in a difficult or need based moment.
Ignore the judgment and follow your instincts for care. I promise you won't regret it.
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In this video, learn why dismissing a child's emotions can hinder their ability to gain perspective, and how to help them process their feelings to build emotional resilience for bigger challenges later in life.
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Discover why harsh punishments and power and control tactics can create compliance in children through fear and dissociative shutdown, and how these patterns can lead to adult relationships based on power and control or deep self-worth wounds in this eye-opening and insightful video that encourages compassionate limit setting without instilling fear.
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The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
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