Yes, it is one of our jobs as parents to do what we can to protect our children from anyone who intends them harm.
But, "I will do whatever I can to keep you safe" and "I will brutalize anyone who hurts you" are not the same thing.
The first sentence is protective. The second sentence is violent.
I have worked with countless survivors of sexual abuse and domestic violence who never shared their traumatic experiences with parent figures out of fear that their parents would tear their perpetrators limb by limb, which would only add to their trauma of witnessing violence, and potentially lead to their caregivers ending up on jail and not do anything to actually protect them or help them heal from the pain.
You can tell your kids, "I will always be here to get you out of harms way, and I will believe you, and be a refuge and a barrier between you and whoever has abused you".
This is protective and comforting to your kids, without being scary. We don't need to threaten to become their perpetrator's perpetrator in order to convey our dedication to their protection.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, learn why telling your child to "use their words" during an emotional moment may not be effective and how to communicate non-verbally to support them in regulating their emotions.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, learn about the power of empathy when dealing with anger, but also be warned about the limits of empathy in the context of abusive mentalities, where anger is used to justify harmful behavior.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn why providing your children with a safety net to navigate difficult social situations is crucial, and how to create an open and non-judgmental environment where they can trust and depend on you.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}