When we are asking our children to change their behavior or understand the impact of their behavior we are creating neural patterns for them.
If we use punishment we are creating shame, fear and pain connections to the experience of being asked to change or grow.
These neural networks then get activated in other relationships making it hard to be receptive to change or to feedback from people in our lives.
When we use teaching focused methods instead of control focused methods our children can learn without feeling yucky about growth.
Gentle teaching doesn't make weaker adults, it makes calmer more centered adults.
Check out "no drama discipline" by Dan Siegel , or peaceful parent happy kids by Dr Laura Markum for ideas on how to teach without punishment
Learn how to deliver an ultimatum with kindness and honesty, and set healthy boundaries in your relationships, in this insightful video.
In this video, learn why telling your child to "use their words" during an emotional moment may not be effective and how to communicate non-verbally to support them in regulating their emotions.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.