When we say "use your words" during an emotional moment, we are trying to help our children come to a place of regulation. Unfortunately we are using a tool that they cannot access at that moment.
The reason they are not using their words, is because the language centers of the brain are being flooded with reactionary neurochemistry. Which means that hearing instructions via language isn't going to work either.
Instead, communicate with your non-verbal presence so that your child can FEEL your support to help their brain regain a sense of calm and connectedness.
After the emotional flooding has subsided and their thinking brain is above water again, they will be much more capable of using their words and helping you understand what was happening for them.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this Q&A video, Alicia Malnati shares three tips to help your children love learning for the sake of learning, including setting challenging but attainable goals, emphasizing effort over innate ability, and praising specific tactics rather than traits.
Discover the three key things you need to do to help your children develop resilience and become strong, confident adults in this insightful video.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}