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Isn't research cool? This neuroscience study really validates what so many teen parents are feeling....a shift away from their child's interest in the parent relationship and towards peers.
This doesn't mean they have stopped needing you, or relying on you (especially in those big overwhelming moments), but that they are developing a new set of experiences necessary for their eventual launch.
Hang in there. Even if it's a brain based shift, it isn't easy!
https://www.sciencenews.org/article/mom-voice-kid-brain-teen-neuroscience
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
Learn the power of modeling self-compassion to your kids, as it inspires authenticity and problem-solving, and helps them develop their own self-treatment based on how they see you treat yourself.
Learn about the two sources that drive the desire to always be around people, natural extraversion and trauma response, and how recognizing the latter can help you find rest in solitude and process past relationships in this insightful video.