Isn't research cool? This neuroscience study really validates what so many teen parents are feeling....a shift away from their child's interest in the parent relationship and towards peers.
This doesn't mean they have stopped needing you, or relying on you (especially in those big overwhelming moments), but that they are developing a new set of experiences necessary for their eventual launch.
Hang in there. Even if it's a brain based shift, it isn't easy!
https://www.sciencenews.org/article/mom-voice-kid-brain-teen-neuroscience
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
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In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
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