It is so important for all of us to remember how complex our attachment relationships are.
We all have unique natures that set off unique dynamics with our caregivers.
Sibling gaslighting often comes from the false belief that you can know what your sibling experienced because you were in the same home.
But the reality is that each unique kid is treated differently in each unique family system.
So if you have a sibling who feels different about their childhood than you do about yours, that doesn't necessarily mean that they are ungrateful or wrong, or idealizing your parents....they just had a different childhood than you.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.
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In this video, the speaker discusses how our culture tends to attribute behaviors and motivations to people's private parts, and proposes the term "Overgenitalization" to help us understand that violence and nurture do not come from a person's reproductive body parts, but rather from the environments and social experiences they are raised in.
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The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
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