The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful for kids, its application actually creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood.
Neuroscience imaging has been able to correlate early childhood neglect and trauma with an enlarged amygdala.(higher reactivity) As well it has correlated secure attachment relationships with a thicker neocortex (better executive functioning).
So when your child is emotionally flooded, no matter if it is over a significant loss or something small, giving them compassion, proximity and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function and won't spoil anything except maybe someone else's perception of your parenting.
And if the choice is between your child's brain and someone else's approval...it's not much of a choice really.
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In this video, learn how understanding and addressing the underlying needs behind a child's behavior can lead to a more secure attachment and empowering parent-child relationship.
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Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
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Join your child in their delight and communicate to them that their instincts and preferences are valuable and valid - this is key in developing their self-esteem, and play is the perfect context for learning and bonding.
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