If you are anything like me, you don't mind discussing the world with your children, UNTIL they start circling you with a WHY TORNADO.
Child: Why?
Parent: Answer.
Child: Why?
Parent: Answer
Child: Why?
Parent: 😫
This tornado habit usually happens only for a short period during a child's development (typically when they are between 2.5-4.5 years old), but it can feel overwhelming as a parent and frustrating and lead you to shutting your child down or responding with annoyance to their curiosity.
They seem to have an endless WHY question and you do not have an endless amount of patience for it.
Here is a magical connection focused re-direct...turn it into a time of imagination. Instead of focusing on giving them an answer, focus on teaching them how to wonder about something and theorize about it and tolerate the unknown and uncertainty of something they are curious about.
They will feel connected and you will feel the tornado die down. Two very good things.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
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In this video, learn why it's important to focus on soothing and supporting kids' emotions before trying to teach them, as strong emotions take energy away from the brain's thinking and processing areas, and how you can use co-regulation and language to help them grow once they've calmed down. Remember to "Connect before you correct," as Dr. Karyn Purvis said.
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In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
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