1.
Raise your hand if you've ever eaten food off the floor or couch because the effort it would take to put it in the trash felt far more burdensome than the effort to simply put it down the mouth hatch 🙋
Sigh. Making good decisions when you are:
Tired
Hungry
Lonely
Angry (yes my AA folks I see you putting the HALT together)
In loss and grief
In a change or transition
Anxious
Depressed
Stressed the f out
Over stimulated
Under stimulated
Dealing with oppression
Battling pain (chronic or not)
Etc etc.
We don't make our decisions simply from some clear moral center in our brains. We make our decisions from the contexts that are putting us into different mental states.
The more support and resources a person has the higher their capacity to learn how to take care of themselves, their loved ones and the greater community.
This is true for me. And all the adults I've ever met.
This is even more true for children whose brains are not even fully formed yet.
When a kid or a grownup is making poor choices, remember to see them in the context of their past and present. Remember to offer them (and yourself) compassion based on their context and understanding as a fellow human on this wild unpredictable, and sometimes painful ride.
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Learn how to set compassionate limits with your child in a way that benefits their brain development and reduces reactive responses to emotions, with the timing varying depending on factors such as age, hunger, and consistency.
Learn how accepting your child for who they are can foster a secure attachment and inner confidence that helps them thrive in a world that may not always accept them, in this insightful video on nature, nurture, and parenting.
In this video, learn about the importance of timing when teaching children how to regulate their emotions, and why it's essential to wait until they have calmed down before offering guidance.