Boredom is painful. For kids and for us parents who feel their agitation and the pull to agitate us as a way to regulate their bodies.
The key for our kids (and let's be honest for us too), is to stay in a place of compassionate teaching.
What does that look like?
1. Express empathy for what they are feeling
2. Help them notice the body sensations connected with boredom. (Dr. Dan Siegel says "Name it to Tame it")
3. Help them develop the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state.
4. Be patient with them as this skill takes significant time to develop and master.
5. Instead of giving them options and entertaining them (rescuing them from the boredom), teach them how to discover their own options and tolerate the discomfort of boredom without collapsing into despair.
Learn how to navigate the difficult terrain of adolescence by positioning yourself as a collaborative guide, rather than a control-focused dictator, and taking the time to truly understand what is happening for your teen in this video.
Learn how to keep your children safe and empowered against sexual abuse and trauma by watching this powerful video on the importance of having "the talk" with anyone who watches your children, and how it can serve as a warning to predators and empower your children to have the language and tools to prevent and heal from such abuse.
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
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