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Helping our kids accept boundaries and limits is one of the most important tasks of a parent. Because all healthy relationships have boundaries and limits.
And just like the other things our children learn, the most helpful way for a child to understand a concept is for us to model it for them.
In a world that is so often focused on power and control we can get so focused on the message that children should respect their parents boundaries, and not even consider the fact that as parents we can honor some of our children's boundaries as well.
Healthy boundaries are about protecting connection and safety not about protecting power.
Take some time to consider a boundary that your child has tried to set with you. Something that does not prevent their health or safety, and will help them feel respected by you as a unique human that deserves to set their own boundaries as well as to respect yours.
Then do the work to respect it. Notice that it takes work to learn a boundary and use that information to grow your compassion when your children struggle to immediately follow yours.
In this video, you'll learn that when facing defiance from children, it's important to avoid grabbing for power and instead seek connection, getting curious about their needs and working with a spirit of compassion to help them, rather than against them.
Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
Learn how to raise secure, well-regulated, and resilient children by focusing on teaching them how to live in community and develop close attachment relationships, instead of teaching them independence, in this enlightening video that emphasizes the importance of positive, supportive, and mutual relationships, and the role of trust in creating dependence.