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Feeling jealous is painful. Feeling jealous and then being shamed or punished is confusing for a child. And it doesn't equip them to know what to do with the feeling.
When your child feels jealous they need the same set of things they need when they feel any other painful emotion.
1. Empathy and support understanding their emotion and learning words to put to it.
2. Help regulating their body.
3. Compassionate guidance on how to cope with the feeling.
Jealousy is not a character defect. It's a normal and complex body state that abates when it is acknowledged and the person feeling it is given emotional support to handle it and not act it out.
In this video, the presenter discusses two potential reasons for constantly feeling insecure in a romantic relationship and provides solutions for each, including moving on if the partner isn't right or putting in the work to internalize the love you have if you have an anxious preoccupied attachment style.
Discover the power of playfulness and how it can positively impact your brain and relationships, unlocking your potential to thrive - watch now!
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.