The drive to always be around people can come from two different sources...
1. A natural extraversion that drives you to get energy by being with people
2. A trauma response that developed in relationship to unpredictable early caregivers and an ensuing fear that people are going to leave or give up on you...
Or both.
If number 2 sounds right to you (especially in romantic relationships), that's a good indicator that your heart needs some space to process your early relationships and understand how they impacted you to make room for new ways of finding rest in solitude and space from others.
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In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
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Learn the importance of letting go of small things in healthy relationships, and how to use the "F#ck it bucket" to differentiate between minor annoyances and larger relational patterns in this engaging and practical video.
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Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
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