The drive to always be around people can come from two different sources...
1. A natural extraversion that drives you to get energy by being with people
2. A trauma response that developed in relationship to unpredictable early caregivers and an ensuing fear that people are going to leave or give up on you...
Or both.
If number 2 sounds right to you (especially in romantic relationships), that's a good indicator that your heart needs some space to process your early relationships and understand how they impacted you to make room for new ways of finding rest in solitude and space from others.
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
If you didn't have a secure attachment style in childhood, you're not alone. Here are three phases of healing you can work through to change your patterns of relating and build new, secure relationships.
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In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
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