How many of you watched your parents model self compassion? If you did, I'm guessing it's not a huge struggle for you? And those who didn't? Might be a harder pattern to establish.
There is incredible power in offering yourself genuine compassion and kindness when you mess up. There is even more power in letting your children see you do it. Children, (especially highly sensitive children), learn self -treatment based on not only how we treat them, but how they watch us treat ourselves. Especially when we flub.
Your kids are doing the best they can with what they have, and so are you. Being harsh or shaming doesn't inspire us to do better, it just inspires us to feel awful about ourselves.
Instead gentle accountability and compassionate understanding to inspire authenticity and problem solving for moving forward.
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
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In this Q&A video, Alicia Malnati shares three tips to help your children love learning for the sake of learning, including setting challenging but attainable goals, emphasizing effort over innate ability, and praising specific tactics rather than traits.
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In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
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