How many of you watched your parents model self compassion? If you did, I'm guessing it's not a huge struggle for you? And those who didn't? Might be a harder pattern to establish.
There is incredible power in offering yourself genuine compassion and kindness when you mess up. There is even more power in letting your children see you do it. Children, (especially highly sensitive children), learn self -treatment based on not only how we treat them, but how they watch us treat ourselves. Especially when we flub.
Your kids are doing the best they can with what they have, and so are you. Being harsh or shaming doesn't inspire us to do better, it just inspires us to feel awful about ourselves.
Instead gentle accountability and compassionate understanding to inspire authenticity and problem solving for moving forward.
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In this video, you'll learn that human beings are wired to co-regulate, and that words like "come here" or "I am here" used with gentleness and compassion can be deeply soothing and help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.
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Learn about the two sources that drive the desire to always be around people, natural extraversion and trauma response, and how recognizing the latter can help you find rest in solitude and process past relationships in this insightful video.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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