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Navigating shame is HARD no matter what but it's way harder if you don't know how to identify it in your body, or say it out loud to another person.
Here are the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state..
1. Acknowledge their shame feelings
2. Buffer those feelings by being calm and present
3. Connect with them in an authentic human way that helps them understand they are worthy and not alone in whatever human thing they did or didn't do to trigger those feelings...
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
In this video, we explore why punishment may not be the best approach to parenting and how positive reinforcement can be a more effective and nurturing alternative
In this informative and practical video, learn how emotional flooding can disorient and lead us to push away those we need, and how to use the Letting go/Staying close method to support loved ones during these difficult moments by releasing pressure and standing back while staying open and supportive.